Lame rambling

1. I hate it when people don't speak proper English. I'm not talking about the simple "who vs. whom" mistake (although that bothers me a little too) but I work with this moron who seems to have his very own language. Example: Instead of yesterday, it's "yesday." How do you leave an entire fucking syllable off a word? I just want to slap him every time I hear him say it. Also, it's not with but "wiff." Seriously. And this guy is semi-intelligent. He has a college degree. I've heard him speak real words while on the phone. It's almost like he's too cool to use real words in everyday co-worker conversation. I try to avoid him as much as possible.
2. Maybe it has something to do with Aunt Flo being in town but suddenly, I can't figure out what the hell I am doing with my life. I mean, I'm totally happy with my family life and all but what the hell am I doing with my career? Why did I switch paths? I had it made. Why couldn't I have been happy in my cozy little office doing virtually nothing for 1/2 of the day? I was spoiled rotten. I suddenly do not understand why I felt the need to challenge myself and get on a path that would take me somewhere. I miss naps at work. I could call up my old boss, one of the greatest guys on this planet, and get my job back. Too bad I'm too proud.
3. I secretly hope a tiny bit that my husband will lose his job so we can pack up and move to some exotic country, much like The Anchored Nomad gets to. Not to minimize her devastating situation, but I think it would be totally cool to have foreign connections.
4. I feel guilty for wishing my husband didn't have a job. Especially since it's entirely possible that he could be on unemployment in the near future. It's happened in his company already. The economy sucks. Especially 'round these parts.
5. I have experienced, for the first time, what it is like to have a kid home from school on break. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! The kid is annoying as hell. I can not wait until January 5th. He was never, EVER, like this before he started kindergarten but apparently they get used to being totally busy for 8 hours straight. That lock on the closet looks like it might come in handy.
6. I hate winter birthdays. Monkey will be 6 on January 10th and the only way to have a decent party is to shell out a few hundred dollars to go to an indoor play center. I can't wait for Mady-Lou's July birthdays. Parks are free.
7. I have been creeped out for about a year now over some missing volumes of our adult video collection (not that we have many and we're not porn fiends. I actually just got brave one day and ordered some online. They are supposed to help improve sex life of married couples, not that ours sucked or anything. They are narrated by sex professionals. Yeah, we're that crazy). They are romantic little movies with ideas and what-not. When we moved into our new house about a year ago, the 3 best ones (this is a collection of about 10), came up missing. I thought I hid these very well so that my father-in-law would not find them in the move but they been totally missing. Shit! I thought there were two scenarios that could explain what happened a) my father-in-law caught a glimpse of the collection and thought he wanted to try them out b) my mother-in-law caught a glimpse of the collection and threw them out, praying for us every day since. I don't know which scenario would have been better but, luckily, neither happened. Last night, I remember exactly where I had put them. I sent MKH to the attic and sure enough, there they were, safe and sound. Ahhhh....decent sex again...Maybe the placenta-head syndrome is going away.
   
8. I totally just made myself sound like a perv. I am not, I assure you. Keep reading.
9. There is something about seeing your husband with your daughter that makes your heart melt. The way that MKH talks to, looks at, plays with our daughter is unbelievable. She totally has him wrapped around his finger. It's fabulous. We're going to be in serious trouble for it in a few years.
10. My 96 year old grandma is the greatest woman alive. I love her with all of my heart. This is priceless:

Love you, MeeMa!